Soooo... I have always been a big girl. I was born weighing 9lbs and 4oz & 22 inches long. The only time I remember being small is from pictures as a toddler. My family has always made the joke saying that when the Dr. spatted me on the butt to make sure I would cry I said "I'm hungry." If only they realized that wasn't funny. I was always made fun of as a kid and was always considered the fat girl. In 10th grade I decided I was going to lose weight. My mom got me a gym membership that I used faithfully. I loved working out, I would workout for hours at a time & would then walk 5 miles in our neighborhood with a friend almost every evening. When I graduated I was at my smallest point.. yet I was still over 200 pounds. I was definitely in shape though and felt great. I was so confident in myself... but I didn't have the right eating habits.
I met the guy I married right out of highschool. We were inseperable and it wasn't long before I was living with him and "thought" that I had "better things to do" than workout. We were always on the go and fast food was at our conveinience. Bad for me, not so bad for him (he's 6'5" and weighed 150lbs.) I pretty quickly started gaining weight.. it wasn't until after we had our baby that I started realizing just how much I had gained. At my 6 week check up I weighed 340 and at that point I wanted to fall over thinking about how much weight I had gained. My husband then began noticing to and making a huge deal about it. Telling me that I was fat and that I needed to lose weight. I kept telling him that I wanted to but saying and doing are two completely different things. About 6 months ago my husband starting talking about how he wanted to be "big"... and kept asking if I would "like him like that." After a couple months of talking about that he decided a gym membership and some steroids is what he wanted. We both got a gym membership.. I went for a few weeks and then it just wasn't "conveinient" or well that was my excuse. I didn't want it to be easy.. I wanted it to be hard. I didn't have willpower and I didn't set my mind right for it. About 2 months ago when my husband started getting "bigger" and left me.. telling me that if I would lose weight I would be worth something. I think he is absolutely crazy.. In the beginning I told myself that "if he doesn't me he doesn't deserve me." I have always been "fitness crazy" and love the thought of being skinny, toned, and healthy.. and have now decided that for me NOT for him I am going to be who I want to be. I have bought Insanity and Hip Hop Abs by Shaun T and am following the Biggest Loser: 30 day jumpstart diet. I am better than making myself "look good" for him but I want to be healthy and fit for myself and my daughter. I want to feel good about myself. I buy fitness magazines all the time.. FitnessRX being my fav at the moment and use the girls in there as motivation. It was that day that I decided to live more from intention and less from habit.
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